Jarrad Waite and Justin Koschitzke have both been given suspensions by the AFL match review panel.
JARRAD Waite once tried to explain away his latest tribunal infraction as the result of being a gangly, late developer who was "one of the worst" at the club in agility ratings.
Justin Koschitzke's draft camp testing was dragged out to decipher the lack of peripheral vision that got him in trouble again on Friday night.
Campbell Brown is ... well, the son of Mal and, we are told, he must play close to the edge to remain a factor in AFL football.
Waite and Koschitzke will miss again this week through suspension, while Brown has been told to find form in the Gold Coast reserves before he wins his spot back after his latest six-match ban.
Once, to be a regular tribunal warrior like David Rhys-Jones or Dermott Brereton was a badge of honour, a sign you were prepared to dole it out and take it in equal measures.
Dig a little deeper into the tribunal records of that trio of current players, and it becomes clear they are dinosaurs of that past age.
Koschitzke and Brown, both in the last year of contracts, are jeopardising their careers.
Danger zone: Carlton big man Jarrad Waite and Melbourne's Tom McDonald get up close and personal. Picture: Wayne Ludbey
And Waite, who was probably stiff to be suspended but crazy even to get close to headbutting Melbourne's Tom McDonald, should be doing everything possible to stay on the field.
He is the difference between Carlton being a quality side and a premiership contender, but Waite continues to put himself in the danger zone, found guilty seven times from as many tribunal appearances and cited four times in 2010 alone, including a VFL reprimand.
He was lucky to dodge a report over his bizarre Round 1 back-heel on Luke McGuane in 2001, and continues to find ways to miss games.
It was his first game this year after playing just 48 games since 2009. He is a star. Time to act like one.
Koschitzke's report has been endlessly discussed, and he deserves praise for phoning Magpie Jamie Elliott to apologise about his elbow to the head.
But he has been suspended every year for the past seven seasons, five times for striking and twice for rough conduct.
In all he has 10 tribunal appearances for eight guilty verdicts as well as an umpire contact charge.
Unnecessary act: Jamie Elliott lies on the ground after clashing with Justin Koschitzke. Picture: Ludbey Wayne
Now Kosi could be stranded on 197 career games for the rest of his life.
Brown has accrued 25 matches in suspensions, and has missed six matches for a savage front-on hit to Adelaide's Aidan Riley in Round 23 last year.
We love the competitiveness of Brown, who concedes he is not overly blessed with natural talent, and he made the right decision to move north for a guaranteed three-year deal.
But when he returns in Round 8, he will have missed 10 games already for Gold Coast through suspension, with his two-match ban for a hit on then Bulldog Callan Ward lucky not to have been doubled.
Where once players could go through their careers as clean-skins, the crackdown on rough conduct and front-on contact means taking a hit at the tribunal can be just collateral damage.
Yet consider two of the AFL's most tagged players.
Campbell Brown is not giving the Gold Coast Suns value for money with his constant indiscretions.
Gary Ablett has been harried like few others in his 238 games, yet he has just two charges: a rough conduct charge against Eagle David Wirrpanda that was thrown out, and an umpire contact charge.
Essendon captain Jobe Watson has 160 games, and a similar umpire contact charge.
They do not shirk the issue, or fail to lay tackles, or pull out of contests.
But neither do they miss games unnecessarily through needless striking charges or silly incidents that would only let their teammates down.
WHY THE SUB SHOULD NEVER BE A FIRST-GAMER
ROMANCE is trumped by cold-hard reality in just about every decision made by a football club.
So it probably should too, when reputations are at stake and futures on the line.
It doesn't mean we can't bemoan the stripping of a century of tradition when it comes to AFL first-gamers and the sub rule.
Jarrad Waite tangles with James Strauss. Picture: Wayne Ludbey
We have probably banged on about this before, but it just seems wrong.
Increasingly players who have dreamed of making their AFL debut for a decade or more do it via a green vest and a spot on the pine.
Champion Data's stats say 11 of the 47 debuts have been made this year via the sub bench, which in itself is not going to change the face of the game.
But this week there were four debutantes who started as substitutes, with only one of them logging meaningful game time.
All of them went through their own degrees of adversity to get to the big dance.
Carlton's Jaryd Cachia went to the SANFL and back to make his debut, Melbourne's Dean Kent had to bide his time in the WAFL, Sydney's Jed Lamb was made to work hard in the reserves, and even Collingwood's first-round pick Ben Kennedy was stuck in traffic bad enough for him to run 2km to the ground on game day.
Imagine the fear in his eyes...
He need not have worried: he only played 38 minutes.
Cachia played 27 minutes and Lamb 24 minutes, with Kent at least getting 72 minutes and a handy goal after captain Jack Grimes went down with injury.
Port Adelaide's Kane Mitchell was the sub in his first three games of football - what a total fizzer.
Imagine the mixed emotions on the bench - desperate to cheer on your teammates but secretly thrilled if one of them goes down because it allows you to make your official debut.
There is no real remedy for it, and it probably makes sense.
Certainly the sub rule has increased fairness in the competition given early injuries.
We just love it when people like Mick Malthouse pick young players for big games like Anzac Day, back them in, and reap the rewards.
Imagine if you were the sub, came on in the last quarter, and suffered a career-ending injury.
What a miserable tale to tell your grandkids.
STARTING SUB DEBUTS
Round 1
Collingwood Sam Dwyer 59 min
Port Adelaide Kane Mitchell 28 min
Hawthorn Jed Anderson 29 min
Round 3
Carlton Dylan Buckley 63 min
Round 4
Brisbane Marco Paparone 80 min
Western Bulldogs Jake Stringer 46 min
Round 5
St Kilda Josh Saunders 39 min
Round 6
Carlton Jaryd Cachia 27 min
Collingwood Ben Kennedy 38 min
Melbourne Dean Kent 72 min
Sydney Jed Lamb 24 min
TUCKY THE GREAT SURVIVOR
WE just can't help admiring Shane Tuck, who seems a good chance to come back into the Richmond line-up against Port Adelaide this weekend.
He might still get rolled at selection courtesy of Nathan Foley's return from achilles soreness, but that will surely only delay his return.
Tuck has been dead and buried several times under former coaches, so much so that every time he walks in for his post-season review he attempts to quit before they sack him.
But at least Damien Hardwick has seen his upside, while at the same time balancing his deficiencies.
By all accounts Tuck didn't whinge when demoted, simply taking his medicine and going back and slaying them at VFL level.
He is not a superstar, and he doesn't kick it that well, and he probably has some defensive flaws.
But the Tigers missed him and his appetite for clearances late against Geelong.
He is a great survivor, and one of the few who extract every little piece of talent from his body.
Essendon chairman David Evans releases the findings of the Switkowski report. Picture: Jake Nowakowski Source: Herald Sun
FALLING ON HIS SWORD?
BRILLIANT little bit of politicking from David Evans to throw himself up for re-election in November.
All it will do - after assessing the mood of an electorate still firmly behind him - will be to increase his mandate at the club after allowing them to vote him back in.
It won't cost the club any cash given there are yearly elections for board members.
And not many have really called for his head given the buck seems to stop with chief executive Ian Robson.
We just can't resile the totally different approaches from different quarters about the likelihood of players dodging bans.
The likes of respected medico Peter Brukner and former ASADA boss Richard Ings are adamant they must accept bans of at least six months.
But legal sources and the Bombers seem sure they will get off under the no fault and negligence clause first raised by the Herald Sun.
There is no grey area or suspended sentences - they either get six months or more, or they get off.
We tend to back the AFL because they get what they want, and Demetriou seems sure players won't be banned this year.
So we go with the strength of City Hall, and hopefully a resolution is in sight.
Evans said this week he thought the investigation would wrap up in weeks, not months.
That is the first sign this drama won't drag on until September.
There might be uncertainty about the penalty, but everyone is united in the hope for a speedy resolution.
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