Actors Adam Sandler, Eric Bana and Seth Rogen in a scene from the film Funny People. Source: Supplied
THERE'S no point in calling a spade a shovel. Football and films are rarely seen in each other's company. Especially when that football is Australian Rules.
Count up the number of feature films themed around our unique game - then throw in the most notable fleeting glimpses that come to mind - and you still won't need more than two hands' worth of fingers to arrive at the final total.
So here they are, then. The most notable instances of shining Sherrins shimmering across the silver screen.
VFL GRAND FINAL : SOUTH MELBOURNE VS CARLTON (1909)
This is the oldest surviving film of Australian Rules football on record, shot on spec by pioneering Sydney filmmaker Charles Spencer.
In case you're wondering, South Melbourne knocked off Carlton by two points in a low-scoring encounter (4.14 to 4.12!) on a blustery Melbourne day.
Swans centre-half-back Billy Thomas did a "Leo Barry", taking a defining, match-saving mark in the dying moments.
Rediscovered and digitally preserved by the National Film & Sound Archive, who have posted the surviving sequences on YouTube.
You can watch it by clicking here.
Len 'Mother' Mortimer of South Melbourne prepares to take a mark against Carlton in 1909. Picture: Photo File Source: HWT Image Library
THE GREAT MACARTHY (1975)
A very wonky adaptation of the Barry Oakley novel A Salute to the Great Macarthy, starring John Jarratt in his first film role.
He plays a knockabout rising star from up-country way - think a young Billy Brownless with a brunette bowl haircut - who is kidnapped and dragged down to the big smoke to play for South Melbourne.
You could get away with that stuff in the 1970s. Though some would say the Swans are still getting away with similar hijinks today (hello Kurt Tippett).
Not a lot of compelling on-field action to write home about. Jarratt hailed originally from NSW, and it shows.
On the plus side, there is Barry Humphries as a rather peculiar club president, and the great Jack "Captain Blood" Dyer making his screen debut as a character named - wait for it - Jack Diehard.
Barry Humphries during the filming of The Great McCarthy. Source: HWT Image Library
THE CLUB (1980)
Legendary Australian playwright David Williamson was on a roll throughout the 1970s, nailing the nation's quirks and foibles to perfection.
Set amidst an Australian rules' team that looks for all the world like Collingwood, The Club is a terrific tale of boardroom bloodletting and player-coach conflict that remains as relevant as it ever was.
The featured cast is bang on the money: Jack Thompson as a coach on the way out, John Howard as a star player on the way in, Graham Kennedy as the clueless president, Frank Wilson as the clued-up power broker. And on it goes.
Again, match-day action is kept to a bare minimum, but there's no shortage of old-school sight-seeing for true footy buffs.
Such as Tommy Hafey playing an assistant coach, Rene Kink and Peter Daicos as background players, and Lou Richards and Bob Davis as themselves.
Harold Hopkins and Graham Kennedy during a scene from The Club. Picture: Photo File Source: HWT Image Library
YEAR OF THE DOGS (1997)
One of the great Australian documentaries, and we're not just talking sports docos.
Director Michael Cordell lucked-in big-time when he started chronicling the 1996 season of the Footscray Football Club (the final year before they became the Western Bulldogs).
There is drama unfolding everywhere, and Cordell's cameras always seemed to be in the right place at the right times.
The youngest player on the club's list, Shaun Baxter, contracts cancer.
The original coach for 1996, Alan Joyce, is deposed after much backroom wheeling and dealing.
His replacement, Terry Wallace, does his level best to upright a sinking ship, as the club itself tries to stave off moves to force a merger with another club.
Terry Wallace in 1996 after being appointed Footscray's new coach. Source: Herald Sun
AUSTRALIAN RULES (2002)
A cracking drama in its own right. As the title suggests, footy plays a major part in proceedings, but not as the be-all and end-all.
The setting is a South Australian fishing village west of Adelaide, where the local junior football team has made the grand final for the first time in 38 years.
The road to the flag has not been an easy one, as its racially-integrated line-up is a lightning rod for tensions that have been dividing the locals for a long time.
The on-field action is handled very well, showcasing gritty, grassroots footy in its rawest form. There's also a bit of biff in the grand final that could have a major impact on the result.
A worthy nominee for best film at the 2002 AFI Award, where it was knocked off by Rabbit-Proof Fence.
Actors Nathan Phillips, Lisa Flanagan, and Luke Carroll in a scene from the film "Australian Rules." Source: Supplied
FUNNY PEOPLE (2009)
Funny People? The American comedy starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen?
Yep, that's the one. Remarkably, this film by prolific writer-director Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, The 40 Year-Old Virgin) carries the most widely seen sequence of Australian rules football to ever grace the big screen.
Perhaps "grace" is the wrong word. In a very amusing scene, our own Eric Bana forces Sandler and Rogen to sit down and watch a game between St Kilda and Collingwood (the second semi in 2008, if you're being picky).
Bana's Australian-born character calls the game and interprets the action for his Yankee friends, using a lot of colourful language in the process.
There is Saints memorabilia on the walls - including a photo of Lenny Hayes.
Definitely worth a look if you've never seen it (unless you are a Magpies fan).
Actors Adam Sandler, Eric Bana and Seth Rogen in scene from the film Funny People. Source: Supplied
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