Cyril Rioli pictured in Alice Springs ahead of the indigenous All-Stars exhibition game. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: Herald Sun
SAVING the worst performance for last. For a footballer there is perhaps no worse feeling.
No next week. No shot at redemption.
For a footballer like Cyril Rioli it has hurt, and hurt for a while.
So often the explosive match-winner in big games and clutch moments, Rioli was comprehensively silenced in the 2012 Grand Final - a gripping decider Hawthorn lost by only 10 points.
Only a week earlier he had been the game-breaker in Hawthorn's preliminary final victory over Adelaide.
It had been a career-best season. One that saw Rioli register more disposals, goals and tackles than any other year since joining Hawthorn in 2008. He was suitably rewarded with his first All-Australian selection.
But a season-low return of just four kicks and a scoreboard blank in the last game of the year opposed to Sydney stopper and Scotch College schoolmate Nick Smith left Rioli devastated.
Sitting down to speak with the Herald Sun in Alice Springs this week, the 23-year-old from the Tiwi Islands admitted the loss had taken its toll.
In the weeks after the Grand Final, Rioli sought the comforts of home, heading to Darwin to take refuge from the game's suffocating analysis in footy-mad Melbourne.
"It was a sad ending to the season. I got back home and tried to enjoy my time away from footy because it was a bit upsetting," Rioli said.
"But I have a lot of family and friends up there and the support that I got up there was awesome and it really kept my mind off the game."
Cyril Rioli pictured in Alice Springs ahead of the indigenous All-Stars exhibition game. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: Herald Sun
Rioli admitted the urge to escape Melbourne at season's end was as strong as it had been since he moved there from Melville Island to start boarding school as a 14-year-old.
"It felt like the season dragged on too long and to finish off with a loss like that was hard," he said.
"It was good during the week after the Grand Final. The boys really stuck together and kept each other in good company and that made it a lot easier.
"But just being in Melbourne, the footy place that it is, you can't escape it and to get away was good. I got up to Cairns for a week, which was nice, and then back up to Darwin."
The break didn't come without its own problems though. With Rioli desperate to rid football from his mind he may have enjoyed himself a little too much in the top end, reporting back for pre-season training overweight.
"I sort of came back after my break a bit out of shape, but that quickly turned around and I've been going pretty good so far," he said.
"Over the summer, going back home, I had too much food up there with those nice family-cooked meals. So I came back just that little bit overweight, but that was nothing."
Cyril Rioli pictured in Alice Springs ahead of the indigenous All-Stars exhibition game. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: Herald Sun
Now, more than four months after that painful day on the MCG, Rioli wants to forget. But there are parts of him that want to remember, too.
A new season dawns and Rioli is using football's ultimate pain to fuel a new fire.
"It's sort of 50/50. I see it as something that was pretty upsetting, but at the same time for me it's something that has been driving me this pre-season," he said.
"In my first year (2008) I won a Grand Final and looking back then I thought it was going to happen every year. Then it didn't happen for a while and to get back there last year and lose is something that's driven me.
"It's something that I have put in the past, so when you do see vision from that day it hurts. But at the same time it keeps me in check and motivates me to be better."
Rioli is in central Australia with the indigenous All-Stars for an exhibition game against Richmond, which was played last night. The left-footer didn't play because of injury, but said it had been the only blemish in his pre-season.
"It's a corked quad which has kept me out, but I'm just making sure I get my leg right for the season ahead," Rioli said.
Cyril Rioli pictured in Alice Springs ahead of the indigenous All-Stars exhibition game. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: Herald Sun
"It's not too bad, it's about taking it easy and just one of those things that happens at training. Big 'Roughy' (Jarryd Roughead) got me, but we're just going to get it right.
"Since I started I've normally had pretty good pre-seasons, which has set me up for the season. I've had a few hiccups during the season with my hamstring, but this pre-season I've been going pretty good."
Hawthorn's so-called window of opportunity has netted only one premiership, in 2008. For such a talented core group of players it would be seen to be an underachievment if more flags weren't added before an inevitable regeneration takes place.
But Rioli is confident the Hawks still have all the pieces in place - and more.
"We've got most of our players from that Grand Final team, we've had a lot of guys out on the track and a lot of guys pushing for selection," he said.
"There's not much we can really change. We made a Grand Final last year so what else can you do? It's just about trying to tweak little things.
"It's good that we've added 'Lakey' (Brian Lake) into the backline, who will definitely help and he's going well. There's also a lot of guys who have been around the club for a while who are pushing and having good summers so if we go down with an injury there's going to be someone else who knows how to come in and play the role we want."
For Rioli and Hawthorn, that shot at redemption is coming.
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